Mom Level 10 and Yay for Husbands

For so many weeks, it's felt like living from hour to hour. Feed, pump, diaper change, nap, repeat. Sometimes I get up in the morning and it's all I can do to keep up with the needs of this little baby, and by the time I look up it's 3:00 p.m., and I haven't even brushed my teeth, much less eaten or taken a shower. On those days, I can feel a little desperate by the time Greg gets home (which is often after 7:00, since he has so many obligations with different organizations).

But the last few days, I feel like I've leveled up. If being a mom was an RPG, I'd have gotten some strength points, and maybe a few magic points, too. On Thursday, I surprised myself by being with it enough to go visit Guy's Gramps at work, walk about 2 miles (round trip) to drop off some film at a local camera shop, did all of Greg's laundry, did the dishes and cleaned the kitchen, make the bed, and still have time to enjoy some of my book and a few episodes of Glee. Friday was similar, but I also got in my first run since Guy was born, because Cheri came over to let me get out of the house for a few.

I know not all days can be like that, but after several weeks of barely keeping my head above water and worrying constantly about my ability to provide enough sustenance for my child, it's nice to put one in the W column now and then.

Another thing I've learned firsthand lately is the dichotomy of wanting to hand the baby over to Greg and simultaneously feeling guilty handing the baby over. By the time 5:30 rolls around and Greg walks in the door, I'm so ready for a break. I love Guy, but there is something about being so relied upon all day long that just makes you want to go into another room and stare at a wall for a while, uninterrupted. At the same time, I know Greg has probably had a long day at work, and probably wants nothing more than to sit down on the couch and veg for a few moments. It's a difficult balance, knowing where the line is. On the one hand, I don't want to be so accommodating that I get baby burn out from trying to be the ultimate caregiver (and also cause Greg to feel like I don't trust him with the baby). On the other hand, I don't want to be the woman who forces her weary husband to overwork himself. I'm still working on finding the right give and take.

Speaking of husbands, though, I'm very lucky. Greg not only is willing to help, he seems to have a great knack of knowing when I've hit my limit. At night especially, I can get pretty overwhelmed, and Greg recognizes it immediately and takes over. He offers to take a crying baby or hold him when he's wide awake and refuses to go back to sleep. I've had friends who have really been one-man shows when it comes to caring for children, so I'm acutely aware of how incredibly lucky I am to have a modern man who can not only build me a deck but also entertain a 7-week old.

I think I'll go ahead and put that in the W column as well.

-Jennifer